The last time we heard from Milton Kern, he was snitching to the city about Eric Robert‘s renovations on Elm Street, beside the Mellow Mushroom. Last night, there were 2 explosions starting at 8:30 at the Biltmore Hotel on Washington St. which blew out a bunch of windows and the front bumper of a Honda CRV unfortunate to be parked out front. Uncle Miltie owns part of the Biltmore.
Milton Kern hails from Star, NC. Let that sink in for a bit.
A rumor exists that Kern and his business partners, in their attempt to build a Wyndham Hotel at Elm Street Center, have entertained the idea of issuing EB-5 visas at $500K a pop.
Paitu Bashmagash acquired quite a fortune during the many years she spent on her back, professionally in Fuckistan. One of the vagaries of her line of work required that she leave upon retirement, in order to extinguish demand, as it were.
The Biltmore Hotel has a 4,000 sq ft unfinished basement, which was given over to Paitu as a residence, thereby securing the terms of her visa and receipt of her $500K. She’s been there some time, making arrangements to bring her family for visits. The basement also houses the heating and laundry systems, with her living adjacent to Washington Street.
Paitu, suddenly with lots of time on her hands, and caught up in the American entrepreneurial spirit downtown, despite having met Zack Matheny, decided to try her hand at something other than the business at which she had previously excelled, but was no longer suited. She loved to cook, but had no way to install a stove in the basement. However, with the can-do attitude that made this county great, Paitu hired a Latino to cut a hole into the wall to vent the stove. To their surprise, an empty space lay just on the other side, so they installed a tandoori oven.
An electrical fire burns, but does not explode without the presence of a gaseous accelerant such as emitted by an oven baking puri. This kind of thing happens all the time in Fuckistan.
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